I'm back into athlete mode for real.
I'm training again at an intensity I have not felt in over a year. The high intensity training is only in the pool but I am now working towards building a running base and getting onto a bike at least once a week. My body is not responding like it used to but I also have not been this out of shape in a long time. I have a feeling I'm going to get it back though.
I've missed sport. I've missed the daily accomplishment of little goals that lead to a big goal. It is a nice feeling to look at the clock and see a quick time. I was swimming 1:20 low for 100 m freestyle in a 150 set today. This is about as fast as I ever swam when I was doing triathlon. Knowing that I am able to lead a workout (in the medium lane) and swim quick after only 3 weeks in the pool is pretty exciting. It really makes me want to race and to suffer in training. It makes the holding breath sets seem much more acceptable.
Running is something that I have finally decided to do again. I even bought a watch. At last I am starting to miss running with my club and especially Kevin. I still think of coach John when I do a long exhale during a workout. "Big exhale Jay!" I am aiming to be able to run workouts in January but we will see. I want to take this slow and enjoy the training!
I saw some pictures today of my niece and nephew running the St.F.X. Open in Antigonish, Nova Scotia. It made me quite nostalgic. That race was the only AUS level race that I have won and it was the first race I ever won. I do not know how they placed but regardless is makes winning the race more important and harder than it seemed at the time. I was very excited when I won but it did not seem real. That goal always seemed impossible. It really was quite exceptional that I won a league race in a university conference.
So living the gay life has come to an end. I am going to live a hybrid life. I am going to live my life. I am going to do what makes me happy. I am going to workout a lot. I am going to spend more time with the people I love and who make me happy. I am going to reach out. I am going to love again.