My first coach called the part of the workout that really hurts 'the lovin feeling'. I have that feeling.
This is not to be confused with actual love. Unless we are counting my love of running there is no loving feeling in my life at the moment. That lovin' feeling is the time in the workout when it feels like your legs are going to give out, your heart is going to explode, the lungs are going to collapse and every muscle engage spontaneous combustion. I had that lovin' feeling today on the track.
Our workout today was 4 times 1200 metres with 400 quick timed recovery. I forgot my watch again so I had to run this workout blind. My workout was pretty sloppy and I was tired and sore at the start of the first quickish effort. I had no idea how fast to run this workout. I was very happy to have my club mate Kevin on the track to lead the intervals and help my with my pacing. The first interval felt okay but I ran the recovery a bit slow and found myself around 5 seconds behind Kevin at the start of the second effort. I had to push a bit harder than I wanted to to catch Kevin to have someone to work with but I think this was a good decision. We wound up alternating the last two intervals running almost shoulder to shoulder. We negative split the workout although I have no idea what our times were.
This workout is tough on a good day. Today this workout was a bit of a nightmare. It really hurt and I totally had that lovin' feeling! I have yet to gain confidence in my ability to run hard and this workout took a bit of a chunk out of my ego. It did not feel easy and it was a really big struggle to stay with Kevin. I am unsure why but I just felt really flat on the track. There was not a whole lot of pop to my legs.
The last week or so has been a struggle in general. I am feeling the tiredness of training creeping into my life. I long for sleep and my bed more than anything else. I am growing tired of going out and socializing. I am sick of dating and partying. I just want to run, workout and sleep.
This training induced seriousness has been good for me for a couple of reasons. In general I have a Pollyanna streak to me that enables me to look at the world through rose coloured glasses. When I meet single men I will warp their not so great qualities in order to rationalize any number of follow up dates. With my training ramped up I do not have the energy or the will to pretend to be engaged in a not so rewarding dating experience. If I am going to stay up while absolutely exhausted there now has to be fireworks (or something in common). If I have learned anything in the last 6 months it is that I do not need a man to make me happy (despite what society would lead you to believe). With the combination of my indifference to falling in love with my expectation that he be a quality character I am thinking I am going to be able to enjoy my bed to myself for quite a while!
I just wish I had a gay running partner who could keep up. That would be a dream!