Monday, May 30, 2011


I do not have crisis.

I was recently set up with a man by a lovely/fabulous and very fast friend of mine. I corroborated her referral by checking with an unrelated friend to ensure this gentleman was a quality character. We had a couple of e-mails back and forth and then he reported that he would not be able to meet up for something due to several "crisis" in his life.

I was at a loss of words for how to respond to this. Knowing men and how they work, I hypothesize that his crisis is that he is just not that into me. On further thought I realized that I could not possibly imagine having one crisis that would prevent me from engaging in the things that are meaningful to me let alone several. I can imagine things being busy and stressful in my life but not to the point of a crisis preventing me from going on a date.
I work in a hospital with people who are very sick so I see crisis on a daily basis. The type of crisis I see is illness and the corresponding loss of function. I see people who have lost their regular lives to chronic illness or the result of an acute illness. I am totally healthy and now 100% injury free. I cannot imagine having a crisis of health preventing me from going on a date.

Other crisis involve employment. I have a great job that I love and I think I do a pretty good job. I am not scared of losing my job unless I get downsized although people are still getting sick. As long as people are sick and in hospitals I am still in business. My job does get stressful but going on a date is something to take my mind off the stress. If I were to have the crisis of losing my job I would be dating like a mad man to find a sugar daddy to support me in my time of need. A crisis of employment is not going to keep me from a date.

Running often makes me a bit worked up but not something that could ever cause a crisis in my life. Yes, I worry about running and it's impact on my life but it is by no means crisis worthy. It is quite amazing that I have a life where running is the activity that causes me the most stress and consternation though not a crisis. A bad workout may make me a bit difficult to date but would not stop me from going on a date.

Others may see dating as the area of crisis in my life. I have been on a lot of dates to no avail. By no avail I mean almost disaster in some cases. I have been chronically single and I cannot even manage to find a man with simple things in common with me. I feel like a bit of a freak in the gay world. I am a gay with no hook. I am athletic but a total flamer. I am super skinny. I have to get up early in the morning to work and train. I do not do party drugs on a regular basis. I do not even really like drinking anymore. I am fashion conscious. I think I am awesome though the homos generally do not get me. My serious inability to date effectively could be seen as a bit of a crisis but alas I am perfectly happy in my current pursuits without a man standing by my side. The fact that I am willing to try dating even in light of a less than ideal past says something about this being a crisis. Dating is not a crisis in my life and obviously not holding me back from dating.

I do not want one to think my life is sunshine, lollipops, rainbows coming out of my ass and unicorns dancing around my apartment. I have stress in my life and worries and concerns. I do not want to die alone and this worries me. I want to retire one day and I worry about saving enough money. I miss my family. Sometimes the hustle and bustle of living in the city gets me a bit stressed. I worry about my friends and how they are managing in this world. I would love to have a home and a yard with a garden and I do not think this is likely. These are things I worry about, amongst others, but not crisis.

Knowing that this gentleman is having several crisis is alarming. Several crisis? That is rough! Hearing about the crisis makes me feel very fortunate that I do not have a dramatic life. I have a steady and even life where I work, train, date and spend time with cherished friends. My biggest crisis (which is not a crisis) is missing a workout or missing a split time in a workout. I know at some point in my life I will have challenges and crisis. Until that point I will count my blessings and celebrate crisis free!

This weekend I was in Bellingham in Washington State for the 100th anniversary of the Ski to Sea race. I was on a really cool team and my leg was the downhill ski. By downhill ski I mean up hill climb. I learned a lot this weekend about race preparation. One should always know what they are getting into before actually doing it. I thought a downhill ski leg would be fast and fun. It turns out it was a long slog up a mountain. I hate hill workouts so you can imagine how I was feeling as the sweat was dripping inside my goggles as I climbed. I did not climb fast and nor did I even come close to doing well on the leg for my team. I did get to enjoy a spectacular view from the top and the always exciting pleasure of throwing myself down a mountain as fast as I can, once the climb was over. I can report my team did really well placing 21 of 500 teams in our first try at this event. Our team was also very diverse in age range, sexuality (1/2 hetero), athletic background and nationality! Although I was not overly pleased with my leg of the race I had a super time over the whole day and I actually think I would do it again, although not the downhill ski leg!

Happy Training!


  1. Several crisis? Whatever. Maybe he had to help deliver multiple kittens or something? Or perhaps he called from prison having been arrested for arson, rape, murder and extortion? Who can say.

  2. "I have been chronically single and I cannot even manage to find a man with simple things in common with me."

    It's 'cause you are too awesome for them. Life is good Jay, keep rocking it. Don't apologize for knowing what you want and being happy.