Monday, December 27, 2010


I have gotten a sponsorship offer!

I received an e-mail a few weeks ago asking me if I would like to have support for my running. After spending my whole adult life training and working towards being the best that I can be, I finally got the offer I have been waiting for. This offer has caused me to stop and think about my goals for the future and what I want my life to look like in the next five years.

I have not run a hard workout since June 2010 and I have barely run two days in a row since then as well. I have had an amazing summer and I am currently loving hitting the slopes and the trails. I am gaining muscle and I am slowly starting to feel like an attractive man. I am content with my running accomplishments as I have achieved more than I have ever thought possible. I have been ranked in the top 20 in Canada for the past few years over most of the distances I have run. I have won quite a few races and I have loved every single minute of the training and racing. I firmly believe I have gotten every ounce of speed out of this body possible.

Looking forward to my racing future I do not have anything I want to do. I do not have any desire to run any certain times or win any races. I do not want to be tired and limping all the time. I do not want to lose weight. I do not want to train.

I have decided not to take the sponsorship.

I may start training again and the fire may be ignited at some point. I want to be healthy. I want to be attractive. I want to love a person rather than a sport.

This has really been a hard decision but I think it is for the best. I would be doing a disservice to both myself and the potential sponsor to take something I always wanted, just because I wanted it. I do not want to feel forced to resume training again. I want to run on my own terms. I want to run for the love of running!

In related news I am not running very much lately but I am staying very active. I am swimming and spending quite a bit of time in the gym. The results are starting to show although I am finding it very difficult to eat enough to maintain or gain weight. I think my legs are actually getting smaller, yikes!

The skiing here on the West Coast has been fantastic and I even bought myself a little bit of a Christmas present, a new pair of Rossignol skis! I crave the snow and the speed. I do not care if I fall so long as I get to go fast! I hope to get a lot more skiing in this year as I have more free time than previous years.

As for the blog I have no idea where it will go in the future. I started the blog because I could not find anyone on the internet who was gay and involved in high level running. Now that I am taking time away from the life of a training athlete I almost believe the utility of the blog has been lost. I was thinking of converting to a report on my dating life but that would be so lame and pathetic that I would be embarrassed to write anything. Actually I would not have anything to write for the most part. I have thought of a fashion blog but there are a zillion on the internet and I would not have a fresh perspective on anything. Maybe I will write on the West Coast and the travails of living in both one of the most beautiful cities in the world with one of the coldest and most distant populations. Even the gays are cold out here.

I have more time in this holiday season for some reflection. This is my time of year to think about what has passed and what is to come. This is a time to remember and cherish those who have passed and wonder about those I have yet to meet. This is my time of year to prepare for the excitement and opportunity that life has to offer. I better get some rest. 2010 was fucking amazing. It was the best year of my life. Here is hoping 2011 brings even more joy, love and friendship!

Happy Training!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Dreaming My Dreams

I had a dream the other night that I was running.

It has been a very busy last month and I have not had much time to write or train or sit still. My days have been filled with working and my evenings filled with holiday cheer, skiing and a bit of training.

My injury continues to bother me and I am only able to run every other day. I have been able to ski a lot including both downhill and cross country. I love both and it is my mission to spend at least one night/day per week on the snow. The cross country skiing has enabled me to maintain some fitness although I have noticed I am finally losing a bit of cardiovascular strength. I am also continuing to gain weight although I think I am just into the healthy range. I may actually be getting close to normal, though still extra small. I have a couple of shirts that do not fit me any more. My chest is too big!

Although I have been unable to train as much as I had wanted, I have had a wonderful last month. There have been stressful moments but generally things have been great. The best decision I have made was to buy new downhill skis. Today was my first day on them and they are beyond excellent! The conditions in Whister Blackcomb were gorgeous though a touch windy on 7th Heaven. The snow was exactly how I like it; hard, fast and ripe for carving. My skis are responsive and very fast. They respond so quickly to my weight shifts that I had quite a good wipe-out in the afternoon. There is nothing like sliding down a mountain, upside down, to make one feel alive. Falling is not that bad. As my friend pointed out, it means you are pushing yourself hard. The best part of the day; not one line up!!!!

I can report a good amount of muscle fatigue and pain at this time. This fatigue is not only from a hard day of downhill but also a hard gym workout last night and some good quality skate skiing under the lights of Cypress. When I am on the track again for workouts I have a feeling I am going to be flying. I feel very strong!

Happy Training!