I went for a run yesterday.
In total I ran for 30 minutes and it felt satisfactory. Of note I must mention that I had no foot pain during my run which is somewhat of a milestone. I am starting to think that walking is more of an issue than running.
I was on a bit of a road trip with the man I am dating. It was a great extra long weekend and very fun. At one point during the trip he asked me why I stopped running when I seem to want to continue to be training.
I am still learning to transition to being a normal person. It is a struggle to let go of something that has had such an immense positive impact on my life. I also do not want to abandon any chance of running competitively again. Although I want to gain weight and get healthy I also want to maintain a level of fitness that would enable me to get into race shape within 3 to 5 months of training. I continue to entertain the idea of racing Nationals Cross Country in Vancouver 2011 or 2012. If I could get fit again and injury free I could have a great day.
I am trying to transition into life and to grow up a bit. I am slowly doing this. Dating a man for almost a couple of months has been very educational. It is the longest relationship I have ever had and it has been good. Unfortunately it comes to an end on Friday as the man I am dating moves back to Ontario. I do not think I would have been able to have this relationship if I was still running competitively. The energy that running and life take limit my ability to manage outside of running. I long for rest and solitude when I train.
Something I have learned about relationships is that one needs energy to invest into them, especially when they are beginning. One had to be able to drop everything when that man sends out a text or be flexible when making plans. People read quite a bit into things we do not do. If I think to the past and the time I spent with people I dated versus the time I was putting into running it is very apparent my priority was not relationship. When I tell men that I cannot go out on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday or stay out too late on Saturday night he hears, "I am just not that into you". When I am tired from a workout and would rather have a glass of wine at home than go out he feels I do not want to be seen out in public with him.
Looking forward I want to be able to devote time and energy to meeting someone special and maintaining a percentage of my previous fitness. I am still working on gaining weight and muscle with results already becoming apparent (although if you know anything about muscle physiology you will understand that by merely sitting on my ass my muscles will get bigger). When I have a love and a stable life balancing a meaningful and loving relationship with a career and social life I may enter the world of competitive running again. I know I want to race again, I just do not know when. Yesterday's run was somewhat inspirational, if only to tell me that I want to maintain a semblance of fitness, just in case.