Sunday, June 20, 2010

Stupid!

I am on injury day 2 and to be honest I am happy to have a break. I think this injury has been a long time coming and I am ready to put my feet up and relax a bit. Today I was able to put weight through my entire foot and walk with pain. At the rate I am going I will be almost pain free in a few days! Instead of running I swam a good workout and spent some time in the weight room. I have way too much energy to not workout. I actually spent more time working out today than I would normally spend on a Sunday. Go figure!

Tonight I learned a very valuable lesson about relationships and communication. When one is in a relationship they must balance what they say very carefully. This is a totally foreign concept to me as I have never lived with a significant other or even been in a relationship. I learned tonight that you cannot call your partner 'stupid' even if they do something really stupid. I also learned that 'stupid' is an aggressive word and not good to use in a relationship.

Relationships seem to be really complex and hard to manage. There are many rules and regulations that one must follow to ensure everything continues to flow according to plan. Something as simple as washing the dishes can evolve into a big issue. I would hope that if I was pissed off about dirty dishes I would tell my partner to wash his dishes. I guess people get really angry about these things.

I cannot tell a lie. I am pretty clueless when it comes to stuff. I can be totally self unaware in certain situations and thus make people a bit on the angry side. The problem is that I usually do not know what I did wrong and when someone tells me I feel so much better. Is that normal?

I would hope that in any of my relationships those around me would tell me if I pissed them off. It often is not nice to hear but I think it is much better than never seeing a friend or lover again. Maybe it is part of growing up to learn to listen to feedback that may not be the most positive. As an example, I am a terrible hugger. My family does not hug or touch or show outward affection. I only hugged my Grandmother when I was growing up because that was the only person who offered hugs, thus I am a terrible hugger. Tonight I was hugging my friend goodbye and I totally messed it up. My hips were back and my shoulders weird, not a good scene. My friend told me I was doing a bad job and gave me some pointers. It was wonderful feedback that I hope to incorporate into further hugging opportunities. I am happy to have the feedback rather then have him never hug me again. Does this type of feedback work in romantic relationships?

As I continue to mull away in the abyss known as single Vancouver, I have plenty of time (the way things are going a lifetime) to fully explore these concepts within romantic relationships before I find myself actually in a relationship. I still do not get many of the concepts spoken of tonight but without the concrete experience I guess I do not even have a reference point to draw from. Even if I had a totally fucked up relationship in the past it would provide at least some fodder for discussion.

Tomorrow I will be in the pool and maybe doing a bit of core work too. I need to be fit and lean for Toronto Pride in just slightly over a week!

Happy Training!

1 comment:

  1. Jay, I love a Hug, way more than a handshake, but us Metrosexuals have to know who we can hug and who not too. My best friend and I hug all the time. I do not feel myself leaning out though, but I do not get too close to his face as he never shaves! Good luck on the foot and enjoy your time off. Luv Gramps

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