Monday, June 21, 2010

Possibility

There is something about the possibility of something happening that is absolutely invigorating.

In the weeks leading up to a race I will often lay in bed at night dreaming about the big break through I am going to have or the money I am going to win. I dream of gutting it out to the line with a powerful finishing kick to take the win, shocking the BC running world. It is the unknown of the future and the possibility it holds that makes it so exciting. The same concept can be placed on a lottery ticket. The best part of buying a lottery ticket is not the draw or even winning. The best part of a lottery ticket is dreaming of the possibilities that will come with millions of dollars. It is the fantasy that makes lottery so lucrative.

It is the possibility and excitement in the future that makes life so wonderful. I have been told that one must live in the present in order to be truly fulfilled but I disagree to a certain extent. As a species, I would argue, it is the future that keeps us living. It is the hope of a tomorrow that is just as good as today that keeps us wanting to get up in morning. For those who may not have all the advantages of a person born in the developed world or who may be marginalized in some way, it is the hope of a better tomorrow that enables them to move through the motions of their potentially impoverished existence.

There are many times when I wish I was in a relationship (if you follow the blog you will know this by now!) and wish I was rich and of the leisure class. Both of these things would be great. I wonder though, with the possibility gone and actually in the present would I be happy? Would I be happy without a goal to shoot for but rather the goal accomplished? What would I do?

Being injured is always very interesting. With my foot still sore I do not as of yet know when I can lace on my shoes and hit the pavement for a workout. Plantar foot injuries are notoriously slow to heal and I may be off my feet for an extended period of time. I have accomplished many of my running goals and in most respects far exceeded anything I ever thought would be possible. Can I be happy in the present without the possibility of another track workout or another race? Can I be satisfied with what has passed without looking ahead to future goals and the possibility of more fast times?

Last night as I lay in bed I had a bit of a dream. I was racing. It was one of those days when everything goes right and feels easy as pie. I ran fast. I ran really fast. It was one of those races that feels amazing yet hurts. It is the hurt and the pain that pushes one to try harder, to hurt more. It was the possibility that was exciting.

I am still dreaming of running fast, which is a good thing. I am still seeking the possibility of a lover, which is a good thing. I am still living in the future though loving the present. Although I am not enlightened yet to the 'power of now', I think without the drive to the future we lose our possibility. Without possibility I am scared I would become even more cynical than I am now.

I am very excited for the possibilities that await me this summer and Toronto is getting really close. I am planning my wardrobe already! It will be as much a culture shock as it will be a climatic shock!

Happy Training!

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