Sunday, June 13, 2010

Anything Once

In the name of raising money for the gay community I tried something new last night. I think gong show would accurately describe the experience.

But first a training update. Yesterday I was on the track for my usual Saturday morning workout. The workout was 4 times 1200 with a fast 400 recovery. I was feeling good after the warm-up and my drills and strides went really well. I felt crisp and light throughout which is a difference from the past few weeks. The workout itself is a tough one. My recovery was 400 on 95 seconds. For the vast majority of the Canadian population running a 95 second 400 would be an all out sprint and nearly impossible. For me is was my rest.

The difficulty in this workout lies in maintaining control. The 1200 feels slow to begin. There is a temptation to want to push a bit harder and crank out a fast one, especially because it is on the track. One must control the effort and survive to the end of the workout. Yesterday I controlled the early effort and descended the workout to run one of my fastest ever. It was not easy. I put a lot of resolution into this workout and was determined to have a fast effort to build my confidence after some substandard workouts. I felt the effort, especially during the last hard piece, in my lungs and breathing. I could barely get a full inhalation into me over the last 200 meters and had a great wheeze. Upon finishing the workout I was very relieved to know that I ran a fast one. I was a bit nervous about the result.

Last night I was in 'A Big Gay Wedding' as a scantily clad dancer. I am pretty comfortable in my Speedo so it was not too traumatic, though slightly. When I get the courage to watch the video I may post it but I do need a bit of time to place the event in context in my mind. I have never done anything like this before so I am trying to process the event mentally. I am of mixed emotions.

Positive: This was a fund raising event for Vancouver Pride. Although much of the time I do not feel part of the gay community that may be because of the river of my life. I have always been paddling down athlete rapids, too busy training and focused to participate in gay events. I have been critical of something that I do not know or really understand. By getting involved in gay events I am getting to know and understand a world I am not a part of. I am also getting out there and trying new things as well as meeting new people which is also important. As N's mom says; "You don't meet the love of your life by sitting in your apartment!" This event also got me out of my comfort zone and shot some adrenalin through my blood. A good feeling sometimes when there is not a race attached.

Negative: I somehow feel like I have bought into what I have issues with. I was not asked to participate because I am a good runner or swimmer but rather because I am a piece of meat. Someone who can pass in a Speedo and act as fodder for moneyed, older gay men. It goes with the theme of most gay events, there needs to be skin. I guess the negative piece for me is how this type of participation in an event makes me question my own values. I almost feel like I sacrificed my own values to participate.

If asked again to do something like this I do not know what my response would be. It was overall a fun day and evening. I do not think I would perform in a Speedo again unless it was at a swim meet or triathlon, or maybe for a special someone. Maybe next time I will do something with my clothes on.

This morning my heel is very sore. I was going to try to run but I cannot put weight through my right foot at all. I can only barely walk on the ball of my foot. I am hoping this resolves over the day so I can get my last long run before the half marathon. If I cannot run by later this afternoon I will go out for a spin on my bike and maybe pool run. I just need to get though one more long run and I am ready. I hope my foot gets better fast!

Happy Training

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