There comes a time in everyone's life when they need to let go.
I have had a lot of these opportunities in my life, if one can call them opportunities. Whether it has been a bad workout, bad race, bad grade on an exam, terrible patient, or date gone wrong I have had to learn to move on and let go of the emotion tied to the negative event. Losing a parent young taught me at an early age to let go of even the most devastating of emotions. Something I have noticed through my career is a tendency for individuals to become more adept at letting go of certain things as they get older. Grudges fall by the way side, personal boundaries become blurred and people surely let go of their looks. I feel like I am starting to age.
I believe letting go is a skill and if honed can lead to improved mental health. I believe part of getting to be a better runner is learning to let go of a bad workout or race and learning from what may have went wrong. There is no point in stewing over a negative result. I also see the ugly results of letting go, literally.
I have started letting go of my looks. I do not use hair product nor have I been shaving, not even my legs. Today at work I wore an old pair of corduroys and a short sleeve button up shirt and looked something akin to a homeless person. On my run today I wore a wife beater and spandex shorts with orange socks. Not attractive. I have not given up but I think I have given in a bit. I will not be wearing any sweat pants to go to the store nor will I ever get fat, I love my 6 pack. Maybe I just do not care as much as I used to, a good thing? I wish I was trying to be better on the inside but that would be a lie. If anything I want to become more of a jerk.
I often realize how running has impacted my life. Letting go of terrible races or workouts gave me practice to learn to heal from other life miseries. The ability to rebound more efficiently has served me well, especially in the dating world. No matter how terrible the date or the very brief relationship I always manage to find some way to put myself out there and try again. With dating I almost feel like I have let go of the illusion of romantic love or the societal demand to only be whole as two people in love. Gone is the delusion that some day a man will trot along and sweep me off my feet. I have let go of the delusion.
Last night I did not have to work on letting go of a bad workout. I had a spirited run with VFAC in Stanley Park. Our workout was 3km, 2km, 2km. I worked hard on each interval, especially the second. The extra effort on the second effort took a bit of zip out of my legs and I felt a bit of lactate overload as I finished the workout. I was pleased overall with my workout and I look forward to tomorrow's track workout.
I have my first before, during and after photos. This chair was purchased at the Salvation Army for $7. The Fabric was $2.99 a metre. All in all I am very pleased with the outcome and I have enough of the fabric to make a few pillows. Mission accomplished with the chair!