Today was one of those days.
I felt like someone took my brain today. I made mistakes at work, I forgot names and I generally felt trodden under. Despite meeting up with a great friend from University I was pretty burnt by the time I made my way home. I did have a less then stellar diet today (an oatmeal cookie, yougurt and 6 shots of espresso for lunch) and I have been struggling with my sleep and illness. Even shopping for furniture did not really make me feel that great, only somewhat good.
Running was the absolute last thing I wanted to do this evening even with the extra snack of a Cadbury Creme Egg. I was dreading my run more then the gross showers of the Vancouver Aquatic Centre. As I made my way to Stanley Park I was contemplating quitting running for good and planning my life without training to take up my time. By the time I made it to the workout I decided that I would run until Sunrun then hang up my shoes and move on. Then I talked to my coach John. We chatted about running and the impact of my injury and illness and time away from training. In the end we loosely agreed that the marathon may not be the best idea at this time. We also agreed that I have another couple of good 10 km in me with the idea of dropping my personal best to times I would never even have talked about 5 years ago let alone speak of as a possible goal based on my training times. By the time the workout started I was feeling a bit better.
Then I ran the workout. It was one of my favorites, a descending workout of 3 intervals with the last repeat finishing on a downhill. I ran a couple of seconds off of my best time for the workout. It felt great. It felt wonderful. It was the best I felt the whole day and tonight I feel happy. Tonight I feel really happy.
I love waffles. Yo Yo Ma is one of my favorite classical artists. I love going back and forth. I love running. I have always loved running and I always will. I am back into love with training. As with any great relationship (so they tell me) running is filled with ups and downs. Lately it seems like the downs have been more then the ups. I have felt running hindering other aspects of my life making me tired and easily frustrated and socially withdrawn. On a break from running I had a rush of energy and experienced some wonderful snapshots of what life holds when I do decide to take a sabbatical. For now the struggle continues to provide rewards to motivate me to push beyond what is normal and comfortable to achieve goals that are beyond the reach of most people. And besides, this is the best I have felt all week.
My marathon dreams are now by the way side. I do not have the energy to run 20 miles on Sunday or run a 13 mile tempo on Tuesday. Although I am happy to be training hard again I cannot run to total exhaustion without someone close to hold me up when I need support or a shoulder to lean on. As I have written before I like running fast, and that is what I am going to continue. My next race will be my club 5 km race on a week from Saturday.
I am also going to be moving, just in time for summer. I found a beautiful apartment on the beach. It is filled with light and beautiful South facing windows. I am already excited to decorate and I have some great ideas inspired by my trip home this past summer. I am going to have to decorate on the cheap as the rent is quite steep. I will become a thrift store/hardware store/paint store/fabric store regular. It is time to roll up my sleeves!