Belief is a funny thing. It is so hard to maintain and very easy to lose.
In our secular society today there is not a whole lot to believe in. Being reared to question everything we see and taught to think critically causes us to need to see evidence to believe in something. Without much in the external environment to believe in we often have to believe in ourselves in order to survive in this world. What happens when we do not believe in ourselves?
For a while I was trying to focus on things that were very important to me to the exclusion of some other really important facets of life. I was trying to believe in myself by achieving goals and crossing tasks off of a very long list. I stopped believing certain things because of the environment I found myself in. I am starting to believe in myself again and it feels really good. There is an idea in the Christian faith of being lost and then found. The whole idea of ecstasy in the presence of the lord. I am not saying I am having any ecstasy here or in the throws of some passion to myself but rather I think I am finding my way again.
I ran a really fast workout tonight and it felt really good. I was happy to be at the track again and training hard to little to no stress from my leg or symptoms of my hacking. I realized while at the track that I could have used the time well if I was not there. I also realized that I had missed the last 3 workouts because I was too busy to make it to the track. It is really exciting to have so much going on. On top of liking my job at the moment I feel like things are moving in the right direction. I have said from the beginning of the year that this was going to be a great one. I had an amazing New Years, training has been great and the Olympics turned out to be everything I thought they could be. I have been a bit on the down side with my little bit of pain and now a cold but realize that things are going very well right now.
I am hoping to keep building the momentum. I have my first race of the year coming up and I hope to be feeling good for it. I almost feel like I am tapered so it will be interesting to see how fast I run. I have a busy weekend with different friends which looks to be quite promising. By the time Monday's International Woman's Day celebrations finish I am sure to be absolutely pleasantly exhausted. As for exhausted, I think it is time for me to head to bed.
Thursday: 8 miles with track workout