Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year

Happy New Year!

New Years is typically a solemn time for me and my family. It serves for me as a time to reflect on the preciousness of life and the value we have every day we are alive. It is a time to make an angel proud. I know my angel is proud.

I am wishing everyone a wonderful and meaningful 2010. May it be full of great times both on and off the road, trails and track.

Things I Love
Getting Carded: At 31.5 years old I was carded tonight while picking up supplies for tonight's festivities. The best part is that I was carded by a youngish Asian lady. Her surprise at my actual birth date gives me an unexpected boost of confidence. Mr. Pan you have some competition!

Wednesday: 8 miles and weights with core

Happy Training!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Back on Tempo

Tempo Tuesday is back!

I ran a 30 minute tempo tonight and it actually felt good. I have a few niggles and my whole body aches from my new weight routine but other then that it was great. One thing about tempo runs is that they seem to cover a lot of territory. I started my up-pace section at mile zero on the Seawall, ran across Stanley Park Drive then along the Seawall to False Creek. I finished my run heading West, close to Granville Island. I finished my run with a 3 mile cool down. An exciting aspect was getting a cheer from my club mate Kevin.

What do you think about spandex/Lycra? It is one of my favorite things! I wear a lot of spandex. Most days I train in either long tights, 3/4 tights or spandex shorts. All my underwear have Lycra in them and all my new jeans have a touch of Lycra. If I could somehow find a pair of trousers with a hint of spandex that would be appropriate for work then I would pick them up in a snap. As it is now I do not think it would be a appropriate to wear my running tights to the hospital. Although some of the female residents have been wearing leggings and there is no rule against wearing spandex. The only rule I am aware of is that I am not allowed to wear jeans. Tights and a collared shirt would not only make a fashion statement but I think it would also get me a few dates as my gifts would be readily available, if you know what I am saying. Maybe I will hold off on wearing my spandex to work until I am senile or very, very eccentric. I can still dream though.

Things I love
Fruit Cake: There is no worse insult as a kid growing up as 'fruit cake' but I think fruit cake is great! Every Christmas my mom sends me a modest chunk of fruit cake. As a child I thought it was the most repulsive trick of a dessert one could invent. I thought that taking something as wonderful as cake and fucking it up with fruit was a total and complete disaster. I was so filled with self loathing that I vowed not to eat a bite. It may have corresponded with coming out of the closet when I tried my first fruit cake and it was wonderful. A good fruit cake has a touch a alcohol, a firm structure and a nice finish with no after taste. It is rich so you only need a little piece. I am going to savor my morsel of fruit cake. I never know when I will get another. Things I love Fruit Cakes!

Tuesday: 10.5 miles, 30 min tempo

Happy Training!

Monday, December 28, 2009

8 Pack

I have an 8 pack of solid abs.

Recently I have started going to the gym. As I am already lean it really does not take much for my muscles to show. I am still super skinny but at least I am getting veiny. There are a couple goals of my weight work. One being to increase my appetite. I need to eat more to enable training at a high level, it is still a struggle. The second reason for weights is to lay the ground work for obtaining a muscular frame once my running days are finished. I hope to teach my body how to lift and activate the muscles so when running stops I will have an explosion of muscular attractiveness.

I want muscles to be attractive but also for function. How so? Research suggests that those who maintain lean muscle into older adulthood with a body mass index within the normal range (21-25 kg/m(m)) maintain their functional independence in activities of daily living better then those who are either over or underweight. It is a good thing to hit your 50's with some lean muscle mass. I feel it is much better to live to 80 maintaining a meaningful lifestyle then stuck in a wheelchair or in a long term care facility. I have really got to stop this long term planning.

This morning I had an inspired run on the Seawall and in Stanley Park. I did not have to hold back today as it has been a week since my procedure and I am sure I am healed. I was not feeling 100 percent but I will attribute this to the antibiotics that I have been taking. Thankfully I am finished them today!

Things I Love
Spring Awakening: I love musical theater. Love might be an understatement. If I could turn back time and have a new career I would be on Broadway (although it is never too late?). I downloaded the soundtrack to Spring Awakening this morning and I am totally in love. It is so different and so good. My favorite song so far is Mama Who Bore Me followed by Touch Me. I have become a bit obsessed.

Things I Hate
Online Dating: If you want to torture yourself for a few hours try online dating. I can guarantee to each and every one of you that you have never had a date like mine. I now measure success on a date by getting a free ride home at the end of the night and not having to tell the guy that I do not like him. An added bonus during the date is if there are drink specials so that I can soften the pain by getting drunk while not spending too much money. When going on an online date it is very important to park your expectations at the enter key.

As I online dated on the advice of a wise friend I will give some advice to those who may yearn to try something new. I would suggest you meet in the evening at a place that serves alcohol at a decent price. To prepare for the date have 1-3 drinks. If you tend to be naturally nervous like me then maybe try adding an extra beverage. Ensure you check out the venue for the date prior to the event to find an alternate exit in case of emergency. If you meet the person and they do not look like the photo from the online site do not be alarmed, this is normal. Nobody actually puts up a photo that resembles what they look like. If at any point your date begins to look like your older sibling quietly excuse yourself and leave. If you find yourself tracking the number of words you have spoken the whole night because the other person did not shut up then you may want to use the alternate exit you located earlier. If the person starts to talk about their bedbug infestation run to the alternate exit. If the person starts to talk about the bathhouses in town you can just leave through the front door.

By the end of my little experiment I made a game of trying to find out why the other person is online dating without actually asking them outright. But then I thought, why the hell am I doing this? If this is where I have had to go for the prospect of meeting someone then maybe that is a sign to abandon ship. As a wise friend said to me (and I will paraphrase what I heard rather then what she actually said) 'you have to be prepared to live the rest of your life alone and be happy with that.' At this juncture I would much rather spend the rest of my life alone then go on another online date. I will keep my 8 pack to myself!

Things I Hate, online dating!

Sunday: 0 miles
Monday: 7 miles, weights and core

Happy Training!

Sunday, December 27, 2009


I have lost my motivation to train.

I feel great. I am in a great mood, I feel fit and I have had a great holiday so far. Christmas was non-traditional with a delicious salmon meal and a group of gay men. I have had a few easy runs and few trips to the gym and some core work. I have taken time to go for walks, take some photos and adjust to a slightly slower pace of life.

The thing is, I feel great. This is the best I have felt in a long time and I have to admit that part of this feeling is knowing that not only do I not have to run mileage but that I cannot because of my recent surgery. There is a weight off of my shoulders.

When I take a moment to sit back and think about why I run there are a plethora of reasons. When I take a moment to reflect on why I race the reasons are becoming fewer and fewer. I love competition but I think I am starting to lose my drive to succeed. Up until recently I did not really think of the choices I have made to run faster as sacrifices, looking forward I am thinking of the sacrifices I will need to make to run a good marathon.

It is not that I want to spend more time being gay, I want to spend more time being myself. I would really love to add some muscle to my tiny frame and I would love to be able to walk pain free when I wake up in the morning. I would love to go for drinks after work and not worry about getting in my workout. I would love to have a salad at lunch and not worry about vomiting when I run. I would love the freedom to make last minute decisions and random travel plans. As it stands I have my life planned until May with marathon training with a few open spots for a bit of randomness.

I love running. I love the freedom it affords me in the moment and in many ways it is how I play. At present I love running because I am fit and it feels easy. It is many years of training that have made running easy and total joy for me. Without training and competing it will be a quick road to 'out of shape' and then running with lose it's appeal and I will have lost something that means so much to me.

I guess what I have to find in my life is balance. A balance between the joy of training and running and my desire to have a less regimented life. By working less in the new year I will be able to be more flexible as I will have more time to mix up my workouts and train. I also have to realize that I only run for me. Running is totally mine. I do not have a sponsor nor do I have anyone telling me to run. There is nothing forcing me to run besides my intrinsic desire to train and my love of running. I will also have to find a balance between the need to be lean and light and my want of a muscled frame.
Maybe my new years resolution should be to try and find balance. Although I am also thinking about my plan for the next 6 months and what races I will be doing and travel. Oy, this is tough...I am loving the energy with time off and also love to plan my next success. Strangely absent from all this 6 month planning is a man. I think love has gone to the back burner. I guess with my lack of motivation I wonder is something going to give or will I get an epiphany of some sort?

2010 will be interesting!

Thursday: 6 miles and core
Friday: 6 Miles and weights with core

Happy Training!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

In The Bag

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

For the past few years I have been searching for the perfect bag to fulfill my needs. I have been looking for something leather that can fit my gym gear, work stuff and other essential items. I am sick of hauling my huge Speedo backpack around. Fate intervened on Sunday when a chance stop into Club Monaco made my dream come true.

After my long run in the morning I had a relaxing day. I had arranged to meet a friend of mine in the evening, but of course I left the condo a little too early and wanted to kill a bit of time before heading to her place. I popped into Club Monaco to check out the merchandise and see if there was anything new (they turn over stock constantly!). I was on the main floor when, from across the room, I noticed a brown leather bag. With a thrill of excitement I sauntered (stay cool at all times) over to the bag to check it out. From the exterior it looked fabulous with textured brown leather. It was also of a size large enough to hold all the things I require. The shoulder straps were the perfect length with the interior of bag lined with enough pockets to be utilitarian but not so many as to enable losing everything or searching for hours for that gym membership card. I was in love. Then a jolt of reality as I checked the price tag, way too expensive.

Disheartened, though optimistic that my dream bag exists, I went upstairs to see if I could find some highly discounted work clothes. Upon cresting the stairs and rounding the bend I saw the bag, in the discount section. I was shocked and this time did not saunter to the bag. It was at least 30% off and with another promotion the price was dropped by 60%. I shuddered with glee as I imagined myself going to the gym with my first class bag. I checked the bag and it was identical to the one downstairs. I guess if something should put me into the Christmas spirit it is a Christmas discount!

I am excited to hit the gym and the town with my new bag but alas it must wait a few days. I have to take a few days off of training to heal. I had a minor procedure which will require rest to enable effective healing. Hopefully if the pain and bleeding have stopped I will be able to run on Thursday! In the mean time I am recuperating at home while catching up on some reading, (I am determined to finish War and Peace) doing some work I have neglected and generally resting. It is nice to get some time to get caught up.

Monday: 5 miles and core
Tuesday: 0 miles
Wednesday: 0 Miles

Happy Training!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Wise Man

My mother always said something along the lines of..."A man is often wise until he speaks."

Everybody is an expert. We have become a society of Google 'Know it alls' where everyone has an opinion on something and the right to propagate their opinion. I am getting tired of this. I know there is some irony in this as I am blogging and sharing my opinion but let me explain. When I write I write about what I know. I write about running and training from my own perspective in relation to how I live my life. If I were to comment as an expert I would draw on my extensive education in kinesiology, Science, History, English and Occupational Therapy to come to a conclusion. I would not comment on astrophysics as I have no idea about such a topic.

If I had a dime for every overweight, inactive person who told me, as a matter of a fact, that I would have bad knees from running I would be a rich man. The circumstance that your uncle chuck started running after 10 years sitting on the chesterfield and then got bad knees after running 40 miles a week for 4 weeks does not make you an expert. Uncle Chuck has bad knees because he was inactive for 10 years. And the overweight person has a much higher risk of having osteoarthritis at the knee joint then I ever will. There is no empirical evidence to suggest that running has a direct causative effect for knee injuries. There is actually evidence to suggest the contrary. Running does not cause bad knees. Overweight Olive with all the opinions, you are wrong.

Of concern to me is the growing trend of citing regular people in newspapers as experts or the trend to run a poll asking opinions on topical subjects such as the health care system or global warming. I have nothing against regular people, quite the contrary, I think they can be wonderful (I almost blogged today about how I am having an amazing day today except for when people got in my way, ha ha!). Just because you are between the ages of 18 and 60 and live in Canada does not mean you know anything about global warming. A survey that reports on the front page of the newspaper that 60% of Canadians believe in global warming does not make global warming a true occurrence. It is the researchers and scientists that show us, with empirical evidence, that global warming is a reality. It is the melting glaciers, fried coral reefs, extensive drought and fucked up weather patterns amongst other things that is leading experts to conclude that the world is heating up at alarming rates. One could survey Canadian children between the ages of 1 and 6 and find that maybe 90% of them believe that Santa Clause squished down their chimney and placed all their gifts under the tree. This does not actually make Santa real.
People seem to have an opinion on everything, especially online news. I find the comment section both enlightening and also aggravating. Everyone is an armchair expert. I was reading an article this morning on the giant slalom in Alta Badia, Italy. Our Canadian skier skied out of course and crashed with minor injuries, though not as severe as the other 5 Canadian skiers who have had their Olympic dreams destroyed due to injury. One comment was something like, "Canadian skiers should not be racing leading up to the Olympics, they should be going down Whister all day." To the uneducated person who has no idea how to train for an event this may make sense, but it is wrong. One can be the best athlete in the world but if they do not know how to compete then they are nothing. To learn to compete one must compete. Success breeds success and confidence comes from winning. Besides, there are inherent risks in training as evidenced by Kelly Vanderbeek's crash in Val D'isere training.

I have been to a few parties etc. over the years when people, upon hearing I am a runner, have gone on to tell me how to train and that I run too much etc. I have even had someone tell me I am too skinny to be a runner and that their buddy ran the Sun Run in 28 minutes the previous year and she only started running a couple months before the event. When I respond with "she? What is her name because I am sure I know her?" They will give me the name of some random woman who may be able to run 1:28.00 for 10 km. When I kindly try to explain that 28 minutes over 10km for a woman is world champion level the person will at first look perplexed then comment "wow she really is fast, I had no idea!" Further to this I will clarify that you are wrong, your female friend did not run 28 minutes for 10 km at the Sun Run and your advice on running was both misinformed and stupid. Just because you have a friend that runs does not make you an expert on running. Just because you went to gym class does not mean you are an expert in exercise physiology. Just because you are fat and ran for three weeks with knee pain does not mean running causes knee pain. You were wise until I heard you speak.

Today was my long run day and despite the rain I had a great run with a couple of exceptions. First, and this is a general shout out to Vancouverites, make room on the trails! Let's get closer this holiday season and start taking up less room. Grab the hand of your loved one or walk arm in arm and get out of my way. Two people should not take up an entire 5 foot wide path. Second, take your dogs and shove them. I came very close to a severe injury today when two large dogs collided into me. When on a long run every muscle in my body tightens up. Any push or jolt can cause spasm or injury. After the collision I stopped to stretch my battered leg and see where the dead beat owners were. Of course they were unapologetic and thought it was quite comical. I mean come on, everyone knows the ideal place to have a hunting dog is in a downtown Vancouver, 400 square foot condo. I think it is cruel and unusual to have a beautiful hunting dog who wants to run locked in a condo. A dog that loves to run belongs somewhere where it can run without intruding on other people's access to the trails of the city. If you cannot control your dog, which is 100% inappropriate for the city, I should not get injured as a result. I must have been in the mood to run because within the next few miles of this scary incident I had a smile back on my face as I floated the last miles home.

I guess I better do some research on the appropriateness of dogs to cramped indoor environments. Pot calling kettle black?

Sunday: 15 miles

Happy Training!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

8 Minutes

I may have gotten into the Christmas mood but first a recap.

Wednesday after work I had a good 10 mile long run which left me exhausted and drained. I find it interesting how I can run for over an hour and feel wonderful and upon stopping feel like dirt. It is not a bad feeling per se but more of a different feeling. It is a feeling of wanting to crawl into a warm bed and never leave. It is feeling like staying in the shower for an hour away from the world. Physically I felt great on Wednesday. I felt quick and light and had no problem getting my feet off of the ground.

Thursday was a struggle. I had talked myself out of running several times on the bus ride and walk home after work. I ran a few errands and decided to go out for a short run and see how I felt. If I was having fun I would do my workout, if not I would run home and eat supper. Once out on the streets I was excited to be running and I felt great. I finished my warm up and decided to run my tempo as planned. One mile into my tempo I felt a searing pain in my left Achilles/Calcaneal tendon where the tendon begins to attach to the bone. I tried to push through the pain as I was running well and feeling great. Within a few strides I had to stop and hobble. I did a few drills to try and loosen my firing tendon to no avail. I decided to jog home to prevent any further damage. It was a very slow jog home. I have very little residual pain and there is no pain on walking. I think it was a very good decision to cease my effort when I did.

Friday I ran a new personal best! It was the VFAC annual Christmas party preceeded by the first annual VFAC Beer Mile. The beer mile is an event that consists of drinking a can of beer then running a quarter mile repeating this pattern until the mile is completed. I got to the track early to test my Achilles, it felt good. As I was finishing my warm up people started to arrive for the beer mile. I slipped on my spikes, laid out my beer in front of the spotlight and prepared to drink. The key to a beer mile is to be able to drink fast and run fast. If you can do one but not the other then you will have issues trying to finish this race. I am a runner and not much of a drinker so I was hoping to not be last. The gun* went off, the cans were cracked and we were off. As the first drops of beer fizzed into my mouth I cringed at the thought of trying to force 3 more cans of beer into my body. The guys in the club were very quick with the first can and consequently found myself at the back of the pack. I decided I wanted to get through the first 400 in first and then try to hold on to not be last. I ran my heart out that first 400 and it actually felt great, the best I have felt in months. I was able to catch all the guys and was in the lead by the time I was rounding the turn to head into the home straight. I hit the transition zone in the lead.

It was at this moment, when I was gasping for air, when I realized I might have wanted to pace a little better. It was very difficult to drink a can of semi-warm beer while trying to oxygenate my muscles. By the time I was through my second can of beer the majority of the participants had passed me. I ran the rest of the race and almost vomited only once (nobody vomited which is excellent, no penalty laps). The last beer was very hard to drink but I did it. The last lap of the race was about getting to the finish line in a respectable time. I felt a twinge in my Achilles as I was running down the back straight so I backed off a bit. I crossed the finish line elated with a time of 8 minutes. A new personal best! The race was won by Paul who dominated from the second beer. Coming off of an injury this is a great performance and will serve him well as he heads to Sweden in the new year. Maybe he will be able to find a good Swedish beer mile to dominate.

Fifteen minutes later the 4 beer hit me and I was in a happy place. Luckily I was already showered and dressed by that point and was good to go. The Christmas party was wonderful. I was excited to be back with runners after a bit of a vacation from the running world. VFAC is full of great runners who also have a deep understanding of the sport and the place it holds in life. It was refreshing and motivating to sit and chat about running, life, love and more running. After some struggles with motivation this will add to my tool box of memories to get me out the door on those dark rainy days.

The party last night and a box of gifts from my mom have put me a little bit into the Christmas spirit. We are also getting close to the turn around point of the year when the days start getting longer again. As the second part of the long run seems easier once at the turn around I am hoping the days getting longer will give me more energy. I am also happy that I have worked my last full week for a while. I am excited to have a bit of free time to relax, enjoy the mountains, enjoy Vancouver and to run.

Wednesday: 10 miles
Thursday: 3 miles
Friday: 4 miles
Saturday: 5 miles

Happy Training!
*There was no gun but I thought it sounded better then ready, steady, go!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

December Dilemma

At one time in my life December was one of my favorite months. Things have changed.

I should be running right now, instead I am cowering inside, away from the cold rain that is much too common in December here in Vancouver. I can console myself with the realization that cold rain in the city equals snow in the mountains but even that is not working at the moment. And I also understand that it is much easier to train in the rain then in the freezing cold of the rest of Canada, but gosh is it hard.

I think I have a bit of seasonal affective disorder. Consecutive days of dreary weather often put me into a bit of an ornery mood. I find it very difficult to head out the door to get my workout in when I know that within seconds of my feet hitting the pavement I am going to be soaked and cold. Knowing that I have to run an additional hour both cold and wet provides just about enough incentive to change into a warm pair of sweat pants and crawl into bed with a good book. Usually I force myself out the door but the accumulated trauma of getting cold and wet takes a toll. Add into the mix the pitch black darkness and the requirement to run on hard concrete or asphalt and there is little to no incentive to run. The last nail in the coffin is having to do a second workout in the rain. It will not happen today. Today's goal of 8-10 miles with a tempo will not be reached. Besides, my clothes are still wet from yesterday's run.

Now that I live in Vancouver my understanding of seasons has changed. I no longer think in terms of winter, spring, summer and autumn but rather rain versus dry. At the present time I am thinking December would fall into the dark/dreary/rain time of year. We have had a good summer and fall of beautiful weather but the body does not store up summer sunshine to be used at a later date. We must endure the cold wretched weather with a resolute constitution. I am afraid my resolution is fading.

I have decided I do not like the month of December. May was once my least favorite month but now I think it is December. Regardless of where you live in Canada Decemeber is a difficult month for training. This is the month when the Treadmill may become one of your most consistent companions. This is the month when one recovers from a year of racing and training and also begins the long road to fitness for the early road races and for indoor track. December also has a host of events to distract one from training and many occurrences that could possibly interfere with a long run or training run.

I also find December difficult because of the 'Holiday Season'. As I have blogged before I am a former Christmas nut. I would decorate everything in sight including the dog. My gifts would be well thought out with the theme for the wrapping paper chosen in late summer. I would start playing carols in late October and would have several advent calendars. This is not how I feel now. I am excited for the Holiday Season to be done. There may be several reasons for this. One would be work. Formally Christmas meant holidays and a good break from school, now it equals a 4 day weekend. I have to work on Christmas Eve, kind of puts a damper on any holiday cheer. Another reason, as I have mentioned earlier, is the December weather. I do not like snow but it sure adds a Christmas cozy flavor to the air. This heavy cold rain really brings me down. I do not go to church which may be another reason Christmas does not move me the way it used too. Midnight mass was always one of the highlights of Christmas and it is a ritual that I do miss. My last reason for not being into Christmas is the lack of a loved one in the city.

Christmas is a time to be with family or a special loved one. I do not have any close family in the city which makes the holidays tough. It is always wonderful to go visiting and catch up with everyone. There is a comfort with being with family over the holidays that makes Christmas special. Family traditions and the environment of childhood all add to the warmth and love felt at Christmas. Nothing I could ever attempt to create would compare with the magical feeling of Christmas in rural Nova Scotia. Whether it is sitting by a roaring fire, taking a drive to look at the Christmas lights or going out to cut our own tree, it is truly an enchanting time of year. The other aspect my Christmas world is missing is a special someone. This is a time of year when being single and lonely is especially apparent.

Another thing about December that sucks, the very short days.

I am going to try and survive December. It has been rough so far, I hope it does not get any worse.

Monday: 7 miles
Tuesday: 0 Miles and a Swim

Happy Training!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Goal

Every day I wake up in the morning with a goal, and 9 times of 10 I accomplish that goal.

It just so happens that the goal I wake up with is in regards to my obsession, running. One of the best things about running is that although there is a giant goal at the end of all the training, every day we get to accomplish a little goal. I enjoy achieving my goals and it makes me feel a lot better about myself when I do. Today's goal was a 15 mile long run. Goal accomplished.

Like a continuous dripping of water on a piece of granite, small goals over time can create great change. By keeping the big picture in sight while succeeding with the little goals we can not only accomplish a huge goal but also boost our confidence along the way. I absolutely love the feeling of hitting my times in a workout or seeing my building at the end of a long run. Although tired after a long run I feel a glow of fulfillment that lasts throughout the day. I also find it useful how sometimes the most satisfaction comes from the most challenging goal. As an example, on the days I make it to the gym before work I feel like I could conquer the world for the remainder of the day. Even the soreness of my chest or quads provides a memento of the goal I had already accomplished while most others were still in bed. I love goal setting and I love accomplishing my goals even more!

I have to be honest. I have had a tough past few weeks. The past weeks have caused me to take a step back and really evaluate my goals in my life and how I want to feel. I am feeling like I am heading in a new direction. I recognize that it is impossible to be happy all the time. I believe sadness and disappointment provide opportunities to evaluate the life we live and make changes for the better. And besides, how would we know we are happy if we were never sad? I think 2010 is going to be a good one.

Wednesday: 8 Miles
Saturday: 8 Miles
Weekly Total: 56 Miles

Sunday: 15 miles

Happy Training!

Friday, December 11, 2009

In Sight

The finish line is in sight.

If things go right I have only one more week of full time work! I am exhausted after a long and difficult work and training week and I am ready for part time. The thought of working part time makes me so excited I can hardly control myself. More then having more time to train, I will have time to do more of the things that are really important to me like cooking good meals, reading and exploring the city.

I was exhausted after work yesterday and did not feel like running. I am still in the building phase of my training period and I am only running when and for how long I feel like. Although I have a weekly mileage goal I am not tying myself to that number, yet. After mailing my Christmas gifts to my Family I decided to take the day off training and have a glass of red wine before heading out to meet a good friend for dinner.

Tonight I was exhausted again after a busy and demanding day of work. I felt the need to run to organize my thoughts and reflect on my week and more specifically my day today. I ran a Seawall run around English Bay, False Creek, through the Down Town East Side and then along Coal Harbour to Lighthouse Point. Within the first few steps of my run I was home. I did not feel pressured, I did not push the pace, I just let my legs carry me along. Running is a freeing exercise for me and takes me away from my real life and into a reflective and sometimes imaginary dream world. It is a time for my mind to wander in an awake dreamlike state (If I ever pass you running and do not acknowledge you it is because I am off in space). Tonight's run flew by in a split second though lasted for over an hour. I did not even mind the cold.

Thursday: Red Wine 0 miles
Friday: 9 Miles

Happy Training!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


There are only a few precious weeks left of 2009 and I am starting to finalize my New Year's resolutions.

The best resolution I have ever made was to start running. Ever since sticking to that resolution all the rest seem to pale in comparison. It is with heightened expectation that each year I decide on a new resolution.

I must be honest and report that running has been one of the few resolutions I have stuck to. The only resolutions I seem to be able to stick with are usually related to running. One year I decided to lose 10 pounds so I could run faster, and I did. It is the more 'fun' resolutions that have failed me. For instance, a few years ago I decided I was going to go out more. After 3 weeks of partying I got tired and did not go out again for at least 4 months. I have made a resolution every year since coming out that I was going to get a boyfriend, and you can see where that has gotten me.

This year I have two resolutions. First, be frugal. I seem to spend money like it is growing on trees. I want to spend less and be more frugal! Second, I want to work less. I am trying to facilitate this resolution and it may just work. It would be a dream to be able to work part time and train part time. Working part time is by no means an effort to be a professional runner. I am by no means under any delusion that I will be fast enough to earn money to run. Working part time is about living a life that makes me happy. I want to live each day like it may just be my last and slogging into work every day does not inspire me. When my body is ruined from training I will have plenty of years to work, for now I want to enjoy my life when I am at my peak. I am also tired of the constant exhaustion that accompanies my work days. I hope my New Years resolutions are a success.

Today I ran in Stanley Park at twilight. It was not as dark as last week which was nice. The sunset was brilliant with the rich reds, yellows and orange reflecting off of the majestic Pacific contrasting nicely with the dark mountains of the Island. Although I find the weather a bit chilly I must admit that I love running on evenings like tonight. There is something about a crisp clean Canadian winter evening that conjures images of sitting next to a pond and lacing up the skates for an old fashioned game of pond hockey. It would be on evenings like this when as a kid I would go to the pond below Grandma's house and skate for hours. On special occasions we would light a bonfire beside the pond and have hot chocolate to warm our frozen bodies. All this is in many ways a cliche of the Canadian experience, although for me it is true. I was very fortunate to have a quintessential Canadian rural childhood complete with moon lit cross country ski trips through glistening virgin snow, big snow storms and the only hockey I every played (and very rarely) on a frozen pond. Although I loved all winter sports my heart will always lie with alpine skiing.

All this thinking of winter sport is making me excited for the Olympics!

Tuesday: 8.5 miles

Happy Training!

Monday, December 7, 2009

The Miles

Even when I am sad, running always makes me feel better.

Sunday: 14 miles and Core Workout
Monday: 8 miles

Sunday, December 6, 2009

God Bless

I have just found out a friend of mine who was a great training partner and motivator has passed away in a snow shoeing accident. I am in shock.

He was young and full of energy and a wonderful partner for a good long run. He was always ready with a quick quip or a word of wisdom. I was looking forward to having him as a training partner and friend and now he is gone. After writing yesterday's blog I was anticipating one of his wise comments, this will not be. I will have his voice in my head (the comment he left on my blog) and his spirit on my shoulder.

It seems unfair that someone should die in the prime of their life. It is difficult to understand why things like this happen and at moments like this the concept of 'everything happens for a reason' seems vacant and vacuous. One thing a tragedy like this does is it helps me to take a step back and really appreciate the life I have. Life is a precious thing and we should live each day to it's fullest.

I was going to send Pete a note to see if he wanted to long run next Sunday with me. He will be there in Spirit.

Remember to live today for we do not know what tomorrow brings.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Speed Play

Today has been a challenge.

I rolled out of the wrong side of the bed this morning filled with cynicism and a good dose of generalized anger. Feeling sorry for myself I made myself a lovely breakfast, put on the laundry and went for my first of two workouts today. My run this morning was good. I did a Fartlek which is also known as speed play.

For me a Fartlek is about running fast and having a good time. To me play means no set times or specific paces. Today I ran a workout something like, run fast to Siwash rock, recover until I get close to the fat man, run hard to the trail head, then jog to Brockton Oval. Once at the oval I completed a full set of drills and strides. I felt very out of shape during my drills. I could barely get full range of motion and my quads were tired and a bit sore. By my 5th stride I was at least feeling somewhat close to normal although I have a lot of work to do before I am back in shape and ready to race.

Upon arriving home I had a quick lunch and headed into the the nightmare known as holiday shopping. I used to love Christmas. Now I see it as a merely mass commercialization. I think if people sat down and thought about Christ Mass they would stop celebrating this holiday. This is a day about the birth of Jesus Christ that some how got turned into Santa day and a reason to buy a bunch of useless junk that people will forget about in the 10 seconds it takes them to reach for the next gift. I finished my shopping this afternoon, which is a very good thing. I returned home, wrapped the gifts and now just have to pack them up and pop them in the mail.

I was much worse for wear after my shopping excursion though was comforted by the excitement of heading to the gym for a second run and a weight/core workout. I packed my giant backpack and headed to the gym. As I was getting closer to the gym I became more and more excited as I thought of the pace I would run, the number of crunches I would do and the abdominal exercises I would add to my routine. I was thinking of my very comfy running shorts, the hot powerful shower after the workout when I noticed the gym was closed. Flash back to the last time I was there when I quickly glanced at some sort of notice saying the club would be closed on 'such and such' a date for the annual Christmas party. I turned around and headed home. I am disappointed that I did not get my second workout in today.

If you are attentive you may have noticed that today I was planning on heading to Whistler to ski with Skiout. My plans A, B and C did not work out. I think I am the only person who can have 3 possible methods to get to an event and have all fall through. I am a bit superstitious and I believe everything happens for a reason. Although things happen in life that really suck it is all for a reason, to help us learn and to make us better in some way. I am really disappointed I did not get to ski today, the conditions were exactly how I like them (hard, fast and icy with great visibility). I am more disappointed as I missed my last real opportunity to hang out with gays before really committing myself to training. I am unsure when the next opportunity will present itself but one thing is for sure, I will not be able to Skiout until next season. All dates fall on Saturday or Thursday. Running is my first priority and the thing that makes me happy when I am all alone and sad. If I want to make significant gains this year I must concentrate on great workouts and mileage.

I want to make a quick point in regards to a comment that was written in regards to the online version of the Globe and Mail article on homophobia in sport that I was part of. Many heterosexuals of a more conservation nature will say something along the lines of "I don't care if you are gay just don't shove it down my throat by printing articles about it in the newspaper. Nobody says, 'hey, look at me, I am heterosexual!'" I would encourage everyone to look around the next time they are walking around a town or city. Take a look at magazine covers, billboards and window displays and tell me what you see. What you may notice is the overt heterosexualization of almost everything. On the bus shelter there is the image of a diamond ring with some sentimental syrupy line about how a diamond ring is the true symbol of heterosexual love (if you need to be given a diamond worth a few thousand dollars to know your fiancee loves you then you have some issues with your relationship). The covers of magazines are laden with captions telling women how to provide fellation to their boyfriend effectively or how to land the perfect man. I do not find this offensive. What I find offensive is that the pictures of half naked women on the covers of mens magazines with articles on how to sleep with your girlfriend's best friend is acceptable to conservatives but an article on homophobia in sport is seen as 'shoving a gay agenda down someone's throat'. I do not think any of the 10 commandments mention anything about being gay but I am pretty sure that there is mention of coveting other peoples things. Hmm, it seems like keeping up with the 'Jones' is a bigger sin then being gay. It is time for the conservative haters to take a look at themselves. Let those without fault be the first to cast stones. I wrote a blog once saying that I was not proud to be gay, that it just happened to be part of who I am. It turns out that I am proud to be gay. I am here and queer and you outta get used to it.

I am fired up and I like this feeling. I have a long run in the morning and I am getting excited already!

Saturday: 6 Miles
Weekly Total: 42 miles
Happy Training!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Look How They Shine

Tonight I had a glorious run in Stanley Park and on the Seawall.

I rushed home from work today and immediately changed into my running gear in an attempt to get to Stanley Park before dark. I was craving a run on the trails and was very determined to get there before sun down. In my determination to run in the park I threw caution to the wind and ran into the trails in the twilight. My run tonight was the perfect way to start the weekend.

At home in Nova Scotia I am perfectly comfortable running in the forest after dark on a moon lit night. I have strong reservations about running after dark in Stanley Park. Tonight I took my chances and I am pleased I did. The trails were deserted, the woods silent except for the scraping of my feet on the loose crushed gravel and my almost silent breathing. It was like I was in a different world. I ran a loop in the main section of the park then crossed the causeway and descended to run a lap of Beaver Lake. This was the highlight. The trail leading from the causeway to the lake was dark and dreary and a little bit scary. Upon arriving at Beaver lake the trail widened and to my right was the glow of the sky reflected on the perfectly still waters of the lake. There was a slight mist rising from the glowing water but not so much to hinder the reflection of the stars. I took a second to stop and admire the quiet beauty of my surroundings and take some time to appreciate the unbelievable city I live in.

I took my favorite trail down to the Seawall then jauntily ran my way home, all the while admiring the man made beauty of Downtown. In all I ran just over 6 miles with a few fast pace sections in the scary sections of the park. I ran especially fast through Lee's trail. Tonight's run was one of the reasons why I love this sport so much.

There are certain things that I miss when I am not training. One thing in particular is the first glass of chocolate milk after a long run. It tastes and feels very good to have a cold glass of chocolate milk after a good effort. Something I missed and am happy to have back.

Wednesday: 6 miles
Thursday: 7 miles
Friday: 6 miles

Happy Training!