Tuesday, October 6, 2009

On the Sea Wall

Running is coming up roses.

Sunday I had my long run and for the first time, in a long time, I had company for the run. Fellow VFAC runner Peter and I ran together for approximately 14 miles. I normally find long runs one of the more tedious and dull aspects of training. Since moving to Vancouver I have done every one of my long runs on my own with the exception of two, three at the most. What was I thinking? My long run was wonderful with someone to chat with and keep up with. The first half went by in a flash and before I knew it we were at the turn around point and ready to head home. The pace felt fast for the first half and I guess we went even faster on the way back. We were not working hard as we were chatting the whole way. When I arrived home I was tired but not drained from the long effort. A great Sunday long run.

Today I ran my tempo run. In preparation for Road Race Nationals I wanted to run more of it on the Sea Wall then I have been the last few weeks. In total I ran 30 minutes at tempo pace. I was tired yet it felt good. I had a good cool down before heading to the pool for my Tuesday night EBSC workout.

As I am attempting to embark into the dating world I am wondering if honesty is a good thing. Do people actually like honesty or am I aberrant in this opinion? I always try to be honest with others. If I like you and want to date you then I will tell you. If I am on a date with you and I lose interest or I do not like you I will explain that I do not want to see you again. I usually try to word the statement politely unless the guy is a jerk. I can report very mixed results with this strategy from a nod and a handshake to someone moving to another city. I feel that most of the men I have been interested in or who I have attempted to date have not been overly honest or maybe 'forthcoming with their feelings' is a better term.

Men in the dating world tend to be dishonest. Try online dating. If the man reports his body size as 'average' then he is fat and if he reports 'a few extra pounds' then he is grossly over weight. He is usually shorter then listed height, older then stated age and I imagine his penis is smaller then reported as well. When it comes time to meet a man in real life the misleading continues. He may say he is single when dating or long term. His occupation may be totally unrelated to what is reported and no one ever smokes, even when they do. The worst lie of all is when they pretend to be into you when they are not. What is up with that?

I have often said that I would much prefer someone to tell me straight up that they are not that into me then lead me on. I have a vivid imagination and unless I am directly told someones feelings then I have no idea. My own wishful thinking is often compounded by friends advice and observations. In no time at all I can be head over heels in love with someone who would rather sleep with a fully loaded skunk then sleep with me. Why do people lead others on? I have a few hypothesis.
  1. They do not want to hurt your feelings: This is the most noble and what most people say is the reason they do not cut people down or end a budding relationship.
  2. They are incapable of expressing their own feelings: This is a very common affliction. We are taught from a very young age to report not how we feel but rather what is going to make others happy. We are also told to smile, regardless if you are happy or not, because smiles are more pretty and then people will like you. The message to not express your feelings for fear of being unpopular manifests itself in a life of dishonesty to others and to ourselves with an expressed inability to express even the most basic feelings.
  3. People are self absorbed: To put it bluntly, the person leading on doesn't give a fuck about you. They care about one person in this world and that is them self.
  4. Back Burner: I will use me as a potential example. I am cute, fit and I have a good job. I am not hot, not rich and nor do I provide much opportunity for social climbing. I am good enough if something better does not come along. A person is not going to be honest and say 'I am not into you' if they think they are not going to get anything better. They will date a few other people and if nothing better turns up then they did not burn their bridges. (Norm, before you freak out, this was only hypothetical, I know I am awesome and grade A+.)
  5. Men are sluts: This one is obvious. I do not really like you but you give a good blow job, enough said.
I am sure there are many marvelous and wonderful reasons why people are dishonest in the dating world. What do you think? Is honesty the best policy when it comes to dating?

Happy Training!

1 comment:

  1. Good work on what sounds like a great long run!

    As for men, I would say that you have to be honest if you expect honesty in return. You may end up being taken for a ride or led on and sometimes end up hurting a bit, but the alternative is even worse in my opinion. Be true to yourself and transparent in your feelings and eventually you will find someone that can reciprocate.