I am ready to fly!
My clothes are laid out, my shoes are drying (rainy day run) and I am feeling great. I had a spirited run today which was wonderful and well needed. I had a couple of days of introspection which have have lit a bit of a fire in my soul.
I have realized that I have let running take over my life again, much the same as when I was in university. Normally this wouldn't be an issue if I was living somewhere like Regina or Moncton where (and don't take offense) there is not a whole lot to do. I live in Vancouver, a mere 2 hours from some of the best alpine skiing and Nordic skiing in the world! This is one of the best cities on earth and I need to start taking more advantage. So I am going to get an Edge card for Whistler again and I joined 'SkiOut' a gay ski club. I need to take advantage of my opportunities. I am still very fired up to run, but I want to start the transition to well rounded individual rather then one trick pony (I must admit that if you saw me ski you would realize that I am not a one trick pony. I was born to throw myself down steep mountains. People who ski with me are usually alarmed at my aggressive skiing, good times!). I also want to get involved in the arts somehow. I love drama and singing, musicals? I will have to work on that.
I have no fire in the relationship department. There are not even any matches or a lighter to be found. There is not any fuel or any means even to make a fire, all has been used or are soaked with disappointment. My friends, bless their souls, are providing heat from their exciting lives and I must be content with being happy for others. I need to be realistic and admit that if something was going to happen it would have happened by now. By getting rid of hope and expectation there will no longer be recurrent disappointment. Just as I know going into a race I am not going to run sub 30 minutes I am beginning to accept that there is no 'Mr. Right' for me. The energy and hope that I would have put into pursuing a man I will try to allocate into other parts of my life like...
...Traveling. I have the travel bug. I almost bought a plane ticket to Italy last night to watch the World Figure Skating Championships in Turin, Italy. In a moment of sanity I did not book anything. Rather I am thinking of traveling somewhere in March, anywhere. There are so many parts of the world I have never been and that I want to explore. I am permasingle and needing to roam and sew some wild oats. Destination to be determined?
One would think that I would be blogging tonight on my race coming up. I have worked hard leading up to this race but it has also been really fun. I have trained with really cool people, run some fun races and have reached all my goals for this year. I am not really that nervous for the race and basically just want to run as hard as I can. I find it strange that I have let running become so central to my life again yet I go into this race feeling relaxed and excited. I do have a lot of confidence in my fitness, that must be the reason.
What a random blog to post before I travel to a big race. I will post a race report when I am back from Toronto.